The Missing Piece in Education: Centering Relationships Between Students and Teachers

Key Points

• There is a quiet crisis playing out in schools across the country: a breakdown in the relationship between students and teachers.
• When a student feels disconnected—when they perceive school as a place where they are scolded or ignored rather than supported—it’s no wonder they disengage. 
• One education nonprofit leader shares how her organization helps rebuild connection through arts-based storytelling.

As someone who leads a nonprofit that partners with schools across the country, I spend a lot of time visiting classrooms. I expect to find joy in these visits—a chance to be closer to the students we’re working to support. And sometimes, that’s exactly what I find. But too often, I walk away feeling deeply concerned.

The issue isn’t with students or even individual teachers. It’s something more systemic—a breakdown in the relationship between the two. This disconnect is a quiet crisis playing out in schools across the country, one that doesn’t make headlines but has a profound impact on learning.

Meanwhile, education leaders, from superintendents to philanthropists, are focused on ideas like high-quality instructional materials, career-connected learning, or the promise of artificial intelligence in classrooms. These are all valuable conversations and important investments. But they’re missing the foundation: students who feel safe, seen, and valued in their schools.

Connection as Critical to Engagement

When a student feels disconnected—when they perceive school as a place where they are scolded or ignored rather than supported—it’s no wonder they disengage. In Chicago, where my organization began, chronic absenteeism has exceeded 44 percent among low-income students and 40 percent among teachers in recent years. If schools don’t feel like positive, healthy spaces, neither kids nor adults want to show up.

Research backs this up: relationships between students and teachers are among the most important factors in academic success and overall well-being. When students feel known and supported, they are more likely to stay engaged in school—even in the face of challenges like poverty, food insecurity, or trauma.

This is the heart of social and emotional learning (SEL)—not as a standalone program, but as a framework for building the relationships, emotional safety, and sense of community that make learning and personal growth possible.

It’s a concept as old as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: until a student’s basic needs for safety and belonging are met, they won’t reach their full potential as learners. Yet even when basic needs like food and shelter are met, schools often fall short of creating environments where students feel a sense of connection. 

And so the cycle continues: students disengage, act out, or stop showing up—not because they don’t care, but because school no longer feels like a place where they’re understood or supported. Teachers, stretched thin, often respond with frustration or discipline rather than connection. Trust erodes, and both students and educators end up feeling isolated and stuck.

Breaking the Cycle

How do we break that cycle? It’s not about adopting a specific program or following a one-size-fits-all strategy. This requires a paradigm shift in how we think about schools.

In Philadelphia, for instance, parents have petitioned the district to create a Chief of Joy position to focus on making schools places where kids want to be. In Massachusetts, a principal reintroduced recess for high school students, recognizing the need for moments of connection and play even for older students.

At my organization, Once Upon Our Time Capsule, we’ve developed an arts-based curriculum that helps students and teachers connect through storytelling. Students create time capsules to document their perspectives, experiences, and hopes for the future, which they then share with adults and peers in their schools. The results have been powerful: over 80 percent of participants reported that they enjoy school more on days they work on their time capsules, and a similar percentage said the adults and peers in their schools know them better because of the program.

As one of the incredible teachers in our program, Brooke from Williamsport, PA, shared: “One of the things that stood out to me was the joy that it brought my students. It’s no secret that teachers are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, and it’s hard to find the time to have those moments of joy. But this program reminded me why I love teaching…It’s a wonderful opportunity to get to know my students as individuals, outside of just the academic demands that they face every day. “

These efforts—big and small—share a common thread. They recognize that relationships are the foundation of learning. And they’re urgent.

Roughly one million families opted out of traditional public schools over the last four years, causing even mild-mannered NPR to proclaim an “existential enrollment crisis.” All the while, state legislators are passing voucher laws to make other options more affordable than ever before, and federal action to expand private school choice is on the horizon. Schools that fail to create environments where students feel valued risk losing not only their students but their relevance in the broader educational landscape.

Working Together to Create the Relationships Kids Need

Teachers can’t do this work alone. Administrators must create the time and structure for relationship-building to happen. Policymakers must prioritize funding for strategies that strengthen classroom and school communities. And as a society, we need to shift our attention back to the human connections at the heart of education.

High-quality instructional materials, innovative technologies, and career preparation are all important. But none of these will matter if we don’t start by focusing on what’s most fundamental: the relationships between students and teachers.

The views in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of CASEL.

Stacey Gillett is the Co-Founder and Executive Director of Once Upon Our Time Capsule, where she draws on two decades of experience designing initiatives that make public systems more effective, responsive, and innovative. She previously led efforts at Bloomberg Philanthropies to help local governments better serve residents and served in NYC government advancing universal pre-K, new school models, and anti-poverty strategies. Earlier in her career, she worked for Senator Schumer, gaining a national perspective on public education reform.

Related Posts:

• A Relationship-Fueled Learning Community: Teachers and Students in California Share the Impact of SEL
• How My Student Showed Me the Power of Positive Relationships
• Not Only Do Students Need Strong Teacher-Student Relationships… Teachers Need Them, Too!

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